Sometimes feeling good is hard work.
If I’m not careful, I’ll push the good away by thinking that it is just too good to accept.
Today was an amazing day and I worked hard all day to enjoy all the good and ease in my life.
I chose to begin the day with a meditation outside in the grass. Wow! It feels so decadent to sit in the 6:30am morning sun and just breathe it in. I mean, isn’t that what movie stars and spiritual gurus do?
Fast forward to mid morning and I am on a walk with my infant son and my five year old friend, smelling flowers and being silly. It was so beautiful it felt like some sort of pharmaceutical ad!!
Later, as I sat in my nice new car, feeding my baby, I observed a family who was struggling. They were clearly living on the edge, maybe in the 25+ year old van they were reorganizing.
And I started to feel guilty. I started to feel bad that I had these things, these experiences… that my life was so good.
Who am I to expect this amazing life I live?
My life is abundant with love, amazing experiences and resources. In the past, after seeing something so hard, I may have felt guilty for the rest of the day or the week, denying myself ease and abundance.
But today was different. I am getting better at remembering the truth.
The truth is that I deserve all the abundance I can attract to me. We all do.
We all do.
For the rest of the day I allowed myself to continue to make choices that support my dream life.
I spent time relaxing in the park…
I allowed myself to accept my mom’s invitation for help and she came and took care of my son for the afternoon…
I purchased a toy for my son so he won’t scream until he’s blue when riding in the car…
I bought fancy iced drinks for me and mom…
I spent a couple hours working on my projects…
And best of all… I allowed myself to order a vegan pizza for dinner instead of cooking the stir-fry we had planned, because I just wanted to relax.
I deserve for life to be filled with ease and abundance. We all do.
For me it takes constant attention and vigilance to remember that we deserve to feel good. The work required is returned a million times over.
Remembering the feeling I have now is my motivation to do it again tomorrow.